sorry to 'Disturbia

I always say when it comes to writing, “If you're going to steal, steal from the best.”
OK, I lied. I just stole that quote from another film critic.
Anyway, “Disturbia,” the new thriller that topped the box office last weekend has a premise that may sound vaguely familiar.
A young man is confined to his home, so he idles his time by breaking out the binoculars and nosing in on his neighbors.
During one of his evening escapades, he notices that the stranger next door may have committed a very foul act and the spying shut-in must race the clock before this potential madman strikes again.
Those reading the above paragraphs may have automatically connected “Disturbia” to another well-known tale that followed a similar plotline – that's right, Simpsons episode IF22 “Bart of Darkness,” in which the young Simpson scamp may have witnessed his neighbor Ned Flanders commit a murder through his rear window.
I think it was based on some old movie from a guy named Hitchcock or something, but the name escapes me.
Well, this one stars one-time Disney darling Shia LeBeouf as Kale (yeah, if Shia isn't a bad enough name, now he's saddled with a character named after a cabbage), who is confined to his home following a school scuffle.
After a dramatic accident in which Kale was driving and his father dies, the young lad becomes sullen and withdrawn. This is evidenced by the hoodie he pulls over his head during class. When antagonized by a Spanish teacher, Kale clocks Senor Sarcasm in the nose and is fitted with the latest in Martha Stewart's line of Stay-at-Home ankle monitors.
When his Xbox and iPod lifelines are severed by his mother (played by Carrie-Anne Moss), Kale decides to take up leering as his hobby. Lucky for him, his new neighbor happens to be Ashley (played by empty eye candy Sarah Roemer), a curvaceous bikini-baring beauty who dwells in an all-window room. Unlucky for him, on the other side of the house he thinks he's stumbled upon a serial killer. Mr. Turner (played by the menacing David Morse).
One of “Disturbia's” screenwriters is Carl Ellsworth, who penned the nifty Wes Craven gem “Red Eye” a couple years back about a killer on the airplane and knows a thing or two about creating tension in confined dwellings.
And for two-thirds of the film, he captures the stifling boredom and internal mind-tricks that can spring forth when a youthful mind is made to wrestle with inertia. LeBouf is also convincing as an ADD-addled teen whose prior “reality” is dictated by television and Youtube.
In a time in which the terms “PG-13” and “suspense” combine for an exercise in spirit-crushing boredom at the box office, “Disturbia” earns distinction by capturing the essence of youth without feeling as though it is pandering to them.
This, of course, only lasts so long, as the film's final act becomes populated with the requisite scares and implausibilities that accompany films of this ilk. It's as though Ellsworth and fellow scribe Christopher Landon decided to kick reality to the curb and redecorate the film with all the horror cliches they could get their little mitts on ( a little spooky flashlight search from “Se7en” here, an underground torture hellhole from “Silence of the Lambs” there, and just a pinch of “Saw” thrown in for good measure).
It makes the suburbs of “Desperate Housewives” look like Mayberry by comparison.
While they may have written themselves into a corner by the conclusion, Ellsworth and Landon deserve credit for adding substantially more depth than the standard PG-13 spookfests that have pocked the theaters for the past few years.
They make “Disturbia” a nice place to visit, but after a while, you may want to hang out the “for sale” sign.
For more movie reviews, check out Rector's website “Use Soap” at “mysite.verizon.net/beachrun113.”